Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Lawyer Fashion

I'm sticking with men's clothing here.  Women's clothing is  a mystery wrapped in an enigma locked inside a sales pitch, and I'm not going near the issue.  So I'm asking, what is it with the crayon-blue suits?  Suddenly, they're everywhere.  And they look gods-awful.  The guy who thought this was a good look was probably the same guy who thought mustard-colored shoes were a good look.  They aren't.  They look like your dog blew it out both ends all over your shoes, and you haven't had time to clean them off.  And don't think you're fooling anyone with the puckered edge stitching either.  We know that isn't hand stitching, just an over-tensioned machine trying to look like hand stitching.

Speaking of colors of clothing, I wasn't wearing white pants, as you ridiculed me in the middle of the street for wearing, Nate Alder.  They're khaki.  You should know that, but since you're from Logan and haven't lived anywhere more appreciably advanced since, I suppose it's possible you missed that memo.

Monday, April 24, 2017

The Door to the Last Alternative Slams Shut

Well, there I was in the Spring of 1981, basically up the creek without a boat, let alone a paddle.  I was finishing up my BA in history, I didn't have a teaching certificate, and I couldn't afford grad school.  Lovely.  But I had one ace left up my sleeve, or so I thought.  I nailed my first round Foreign Service exam and had a happy facility for languages, so I figured either State or the CIA would pick me up.  So off I went to Germany, and after a couple of weeks of acclimatizing, off I went to the US embassy in Bonn to meet with a man from USAID (which meant he was on the TO&E chart under State but was actually CIA; bases covered).  He noted off the bat that Utah State was not on the normal list of colleges they recruited from, at least not for nontechnical positions (STEM, STEM, STEM, STEM, STEM, STEM, STEM, STEM), he would look at me for my language skills.  He then asked where I had gone on my mission.  I said I wasn't LDS.  I could see it on his face as he mentally ran my application packet through a shredder.  (I've often wondered since if he was really that bad at maintaining a poker face or if he was deliberately giving me the signal.  Another thing I'll never know.)  The only reason I had gotten through the door was because they had thought I was Mormon.

The letter arrived a couple of weeks later.  They thought I was a fine specimen, but they had no room at the inn at the moment, although they would certainly keep my application on file.  Read, "You aren't Ivy League, you aren't LDS, we might be able to use you as an occasional asset sometime, but we will never let you into the company."  My ace had been trumped, and now I was stuck with law school.

Friday, April 21, 2017

More Cluelessness from the Reich Wing

I've already had one go at Brian McCoy (formerly an attorney in the Tacoma area, currently a resident of Riverton, and typical BYU grad) for an anti-transgender rant he got the Washington State Bar to publish (It wasn't his first phobe letter to the Bar.  He had a major rant against gay rights published in August 2007.).  Now he's back, and again he isn't alone.  In the November NWLawyer, our new Bar president committed the egregious sin of saying she was no lady and did not want to be.  In the February NWLawyer, McCoy comes riding to the rescue of what he views as proper female behavior.  It's standard, BYU fare that models women from a hybridization of a Jane Austen novel and "A Handmaid's Tale."  Then in the March NWLawyer, Barbara Jo Sylvester (another Tacoma attorney and active in the Calvary Community Church of Sumner) piles on with more of the same, showing that Evangelicals and Mormons actually do agree on one goal: the second-class position of women.  And both of them ignore or thoroughly straw-man Ms. Haynes's argument.  They both take the "There's nothing wrong with being a gentleman, so there's nothing wrong with being a lady" tack.  Talk about your false equivalents.  There is nothing about the statement "Act like a gentleman" that is code for "Know your place and stay in it."  On the other hand, that is exactly what "Act like a lady" is code for, and that was Ms. Haynes's point.  Neither response actually addresses that point, employing instead the usual Religious Reich barrage of bogus outrage it directs at anyone it perceives as a threat to its continued use of state power to coerce the rest of us.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Continuing Collegiate Cock-Ups

So I went to college, and I was in everything.  I figured I was making connections that would help me, since I was at least aware I needed some and didn't have any.  Foolish child.  Lynn Eliason got me to Germany, an opportunity I punted back through the end zone.  Anything from any other faculty?  No.  Linda Milbury Chappell helped Daughter 2 get into firefighting.  Anything from anyone else?  No.  Several college friends have become extremely successful, and justly so.  They're smart, they're focused, and they deliver the goods.  And they haven't tossed me so much as a chump collection case.  They don't even respond to my holiday and birthday messages anymore.

If I remove my degree from the equation (and its value remains highly questionable), I am compelled to write Utah State off as a loss.  Well, at least I was on scholarship.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Continuing with the Screw-Ups

We all receive lots of lousy advice.  It's part of life on Earth.  What makes the difference is whether you follow it, either because you see it's crap but you're stupid, or you just don't see it's crap.  I like to believe that, in this instance at least, it was the latter.

Doug Alder was a History professor and the head of the Honors Program when I was at Utah State.  He later became President of Dixie and has since retired.  His son, Nate, whom I have known since he was a little fritter and actually shorter than me, is a past Bar President (Fat lot of good that connection has ever done me, although Nate is far from unique in this, and that's a load of bile for another day.).  Doug was really grooming me for grad school, and along the way gave me the bar none worst advice I have ever followed: He told me not to get a teaching certificate.  He said it would look bad to graduate programs I applied to.

I ate that up with a big spoon.  My parents were teachers, so naturally I wanted to advance beyond that, so why waste time doing otherwise?  Dad was the generation past blue collar (in this case farming) and Mom was the generation past decayed, Southern aristocracy, so it was time to advance the family to white collar, upper-middle class status.  With hindsight, I can see the fallacies were as thick as fleas on a hillbilly hound.

First, Doug had no idea what he was talking about.  Although he tries to deny it or at least hide it, he is a silver spooner with precious little knowledge of anything outside academe.  He pokes fun at his bourgeois father, but that's where the money cushion came from that allowed Doug to become The Great Scholar with minimal pain to him and his.  And that's the thing about academe: If you're going to be in it in a non-tech field, it really helps to have a trust fund.  I most assuredly didn't, and I could see that five years of grad school followed by a questionable quest for an assistant professorship was unlikely to be a good idea without such a supplemental income.  After deciding not to pursue grad school, though, and not having a teaching certificate, my choices ran the gamut from law school to law school.  Hobson's Choice is not a good strategy.

Second, my assessment of my situation was, shall we say, overly optimistic.  Some might say delusional.  Contrary to my frankly uninformed read, the family had not really had that middle class generation that is necessary to launch into a contact-based profession, of which law is the ultimate example (Finance, accounting, architecture, and business are others.).  My folks had only managed to grub out an unstable, lower-middle class existence that gave me no connections nor any of the skills needed to acquire some.  STEM professions (engineering, health sciences, etc.) would have been tough, but at least they would have been in the realm of the possible.

Let's do a compare and contrast.  My best friend, Dave Weeks, was a year ahead of me in high school and was likewise the eldest son of two teachers.  His parents too were the generation that moved from blue collar (his mom off the farm, his dad out of the stone quarries).  He bummed around through college and finally got a Life Sciences degree.  Then he became a pharmacist, and now he's a successful MD.  He went STEM, and even with a slow start he took off.  I went humanities without connections, and I've spent three decades slowly spinning in the doldrums.

And so I have hammered on my kids to avoid my egregious mistake: Get the teaching certificate!  In my in no way humble opinion, if you get a non-STEM degree and no certificate, you just pissed away college.  Even if you get a STEM degree, the certificate doesn't hurt.  Have they listened?  Hmm.  Well, Daughter One really isn't the school type and is now married, but at least she found a Navy nuclear tech, so they have a STEM hook.  Daughter Two is in biology, so she's in STEM, moving slowly, but at least she's moving.  Daughter Three, the jury's still out, she has decided that she isn't doing STEM if she's in school, and we'll see where her probable husband is able to take her.  As for Boy, his interests are artistic, but he knows he'll need a day job, and he thinks EMT could do it for him.  Works for me.  In this economy, why bother with college?  Get technical training, preferably something with STEM.  EMT would be portable, flexible, and provide a paycheck, benefits, and a pension.  Good luck finding all that with a liberal arts degree.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Religious Freedom?

If you've read my bio, you've seen that I'm a member of the Washington State Bar as well as Utah. I was reading the latest Bar News from Washington, now called NWLawyer, and saw the predictable religious push-back to last month's editorial about respecting transgender citizens (And hey Google, why in Hell in this day and age is "transgender" marked as misspelled?). There are two letters. The first is from psychiatric "expert" David D. Cullen of Olympia, who asks where WSBA president Anthony Gipe gets off writing that being transgender is not a pathology, given that Gipe is not a psychiatrist. Cullen should try reading the current DSM-IV and the drafts of DSM_V, which happen to agree with Gipe. And here's a shock for Cullen: Neither book is based on the Bible.

Cullen also plays the "You're violating my religious rights!" card, but that's all the second letter, from Brian L. McCoy of right here in Riverton, manages. He claims they are pushing back as an exercise of religious liberty, and any interference is forcing them to accept practices that offensive to their standards of right and wrong. First, I find it offensive to my sense of right and wrong to teach children pseudoscience based on Bronze Age campfire stories, and I consider it a problem not just in the public schools where it is already banned, but everywhere, because it is raising another generation of scientific illiterates, and that could be the last nail in the coffin of our economy and, consequently, our country. Do I think I then have the authority to enlist the government in banning church schools? As much as I believe the Constitution is not a suicide pact, no I don't think I have that authority. And that's the thing, McCoy. You and your cohorts have been using the state to enforce your religious beliefs to the detriment of the constitutional rights of other citizens. Now you're being blocked from that unconstitutional establishment of religion (Except apparently in Kentucky. Someone really needs to send a memo to those county clerks and remind them that they swore to uphold the Constitution, not the King James Bible. Somebody may need to read them the memo, though. And for those of you who think the Supreme Court overstepped its authority, Marbury vs. Madison is not exactly new law.). Stopping you from imposing your religious beliefs on others is not interfering with your religious rights. Further, being in business and yet not wanting to provide service to certain people who are not doing anything but offending your morals is no different than the white's-only lunch counters and hotels. Heart of Atlanta Hotel vs. United States was decided over half a century ago, although it wouldn't surprise me if you haven't heard of it, McCoy, given where you went to law school.

Cut the crap, people. Your whining about interference with your "rights" sounds like every secessionist in 1860 and every segregationist in 1964.

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Next Big Screw-Up

Having determined to pursue history and not STEM, off to college I went.  Utah State University, ironically enough a STEM-focused school.  And my overarching screw-up was that I thought i could play college like high school.  I was in everything in high school, and I thought I could do it at USU.  The problem is, it takes a lot more steam at that level.  I had to drop theater right away, which should have been a red flag that I needed to cut back in general, but I plowed on.  I should have been focusing on figuring out where I was going and what I needed to do to do to get there, but instead I was all over the place.  Ten hours a week in marching band, not to mention all the lost Saturdays.  Student government, frankly a contradiction in terms.  Too many languages instead of focusing on German, which actually got me somewhere and could have gotten me much farther.  And obscene amounts of time spent on the newspaper.  People were amazed at all the things I was involved in.  They gave me a trophy for it.  Big woop, I think it's in storage.  Neither that trophy nor all the activities that won it for me advanced me one jot.  It was the people who focused their punches who have since broken through.